I've always dreamed of having a happy family and a great social life or at least, I pretend it to be that way... honestly, it's the opposite of that. I hate to admit it, I hate admitting having a broken family like all my friend does. In fact, having to let this all out is hurting me. yes my parents are still together, but that is what bothering me because they're having toxic relationship. I remember when I was in primary school, my dad asked me if it is okay for them to divorced but I said no. I'm obsessed with the idea of a perfect family that I did not realize it's hurting them. Now I'm 20, and they're still together for the sake of their children. I know I can say all these because there's no one reading. I can't stand it anymore, I just have to let it all out. all these times, I've kept everything to myself and now my heart can't take it anymore..
It is scary how in a split second, your heart can change and suddenly you decide to not be in love anymore, it isn't fair to those who love dearly, it would just hurt them.. I obviously do not want to see my parents split, but I think they're not happy together so why stay? If a standard 4 me opposed strongly the idea of them getting divorced, a 20 year old me now would just accept the fact that they're not in love with each other and let go of the idea of a perfect happy family. I wouldn't mind if they are getting divorce now.
Sometimes I think that it isn't fair to me, because all I want is just for us to be happy. but once again, what is ? every thing in life is temporary, might as well move on and find my own happiness.
A cat in disguise that writes. Also an inscrutable lady who cherish taciturn environment. If you know me well, your thoughts are the only allowed sound, other than that, no.
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