Hello everyone! (or no one) 🤣 I'm back! currently in my semester break which only left a week now until my third year of degree starts. I know right, craaazy! I'm having too much fun being at home, not doing anything, literally I did nothing bhahaha. I don't even work because I thought I wanna rest this time around, not having to think and finish all the books that haven't even been took out from the plastics wrapping yet. I also went out with my highschool friends few times and break a sweat by playing badminton (not a sports person) so its too much fun!! I wish I can stay this happy all the time and not to continue being an adult.
Speaking of being an adult (which yall probably tired of hearing) I may or may not seeing someone the other day and we did go on a date for like once. He's nice, he's okay, he's alright. he paid for lunch and took me to this one taman and we walked, and talked. i also did make a fool out of myself hahaha typical me 🤣 I spilled drinks in his car! I was so clumsy that day, prolly because I was nervous and naturally sucks, as a person lol. It was embarassing! but he took care of it like a charm but I still feel bad every time I think of it! but he's nice and calms me down hahaha but, I did not feel more than friends. I loved that day But I do not wish to repeat it I'm so sorry I feel so terrible! I think of him as a friend, only. I don't know why my stupid heart can't open up to him or anyone. I guess I'm feeling comfortable being alone on my own, I have been single way too long I don't think I know how to stay in love hahaha and also, this one reason that I try to deny because I do not want it to be true, but deep down I knew it was the real reason why I can't accept anyone. He is not him. him whom I loved in the past. I know it's stupid, it has been years and he already moved on, I did too but I can't help comparing everyone that came into my life with him. yes I am that stupid person.
oookaaay, that's too much sharing 🤣 reality sucks, you know. but whatever, I'm still gonna live this life, the way it wanted me to. I only lose interest in what's gonna happen next. I'll wait for it to end. and I couldn't be more happier when the time come and this will finally be over. don't ask me what would be over, or what exactly I want in this life, because, I, myself, do not know. I don't know anything. when you're older and sad, you lose track of what you you really want in this life. I'm babbling way too much and it's getting more difficult to comprehend hahaha I'm sorry but this is my truth. Till next time :)
