My heart breaks a little.

Hello to those who read this, what I am going to tell you, is just what I'm feeling at the moment. So to those who don't know, my university is the host of this year big bad wolf's event. if you don't know what a big bad wolf is, feel free to google. I wanna tell my story 🤣 ok back to it, the event is a one week event. so last 2 nights, I went there,but because I already bought few books the day before, I  went there just for a walk, plus to accompany my friends. So fast forward, my friends were gonna pay, so I wandered alone, then a guy came up to me, he was working with the bbw's team. He approached me and his first question was "you're staying at bla bla bla right?" I was a little shocked, but I nodded. and he went on and on and keeps talking to me. I didn't even bother at first, because I didn't know how to react. but after a while he keeps on asking me these questions like my age, my friends and turned out he was friends with some of my friends. so, that made him an acquaintance. I layan kan je lah because part of him is people that I know, so he wasn't a total stranger.

Before he made his way to continue his work, he asked for my instagram but he said his phone ran out of battery and asked for mine. I did as what he told, it was a reflex. and he searched his ig for me and push the button "follow". I was like, yeah, okay, cool. and then we parted. Even though I tried to keep it cool, and I know I shouldn't get my hopes high, I have to admit that I waited a little. but there weren't any signs or notifications of him approving "my" request that he actually did. I don't wanna care but I can't help it, because not everyday a guy hits on me so I was a little excited (I shouldn't) but my friends were hyped up about this too so it affects me a little.

so, it has been 2 days, and nothing. he didn't approve, so my friend volunteered to follow him (note that my friend is very pretty). and later that day, he approves and even ask for a followback. boom. there goes my hope that think this would work out. It didn't. My heart breaks a little knowing this. it is what everyone would have feel if they were me. I was so confused, He approached me and keeps me waiting. I hate it. I was so mad at him, and at myself for letting people in easily. I keep things very private to myself, I don't usually gives or share my personal social media to someone. like hell, my friends didn't get the chance to follow my instagram that fast before, until they have earned my trust. the point is, he keeps me waiting and led me on. and when he didn't approve, I felt really worthless and every bad thought came into my mind. Am I not good enough? what did I do wrong? 

I took a deep breath and played the scene over and over again. I convinced myself it was him who approached me first, it was him that keeps on talking and it was him that ask for my instagram. It wasn't my loss. He don't even know me, he don't even know my name. There's nothing to be sorry about, and I am totally over it now, which is why I can tell you this. He is an asshole, he is just another guy who thinks he can get anything or any women easily. To all the guys who love to play with women's heart, I don't wish you any harm nor any good in this world. Just, think about when you have a daughter of your own, and she gets her heart broken the same way you did in your past, how would you feel?

Ladies, know your worth. it's no use to cry over an asshole that breaks you like a promise. Get up and break him twice, or gazillion times. No one deserves to feel worthless after someone tries to hurt them, even if you did. pull yourself together and stand still. show them they aren't worth your time and your tears. peace out.